How Not To Date a Bear Read online

  “And — and I laughed at you. Well —” She paused in her sniffling to look up at him with huge, watery eyes. “It is kind of funny and — ouch! Too hard, Declan! You are squeezing me too hard!”

  His cell phone began belting out “Teddy Bear,” so he reluctantly released his victim and reached for his phone, interrupting his loving attempts at suffocation.

  “Talk to me, Theo.” He pushed his personal issues — and his crazy woman — aside and got straight to business.

  “They are not impressed, Boss. In fact, they seemed offended that you didn’t deem their meeting important enough to show up.”

  “I have a medical reason, Theo.”

  “I told them that, and they are not biting. Their situation is too precarious, Boss. They are declaring war.”

  Chapter Six

  “This is bad. This is so bad that there aren’t words to describe how bad this is,” Declan muttered, closing his eyes and gathering his thoughts before he spoke again. “Okay. Come to me. I am at —”

  “I’m right outside the door, Boss,” Theo reported. “GPS is a wonderful thing.”

  “Right,” he muttered and closed the connection. Turning to Gillian, he sighed deeply. “Theo is outside, and there is family business I have to see to right now.”

  That said, he reached for his pants. His mind was racing a mile a minute to figure out the best course of action when two small hands on his back had him turning around.

  “This is all my fault,” Gillian admitted. “What can I do to help?”

  “Stay out of it,” Declan muttered, sliding into his pants and making his way to the front door.

  Muttering the whole way, Declan was near her front entrance when he heard her rapid footsteps padding behind him. He peered at her over one shoulder curiously, but she only smiled at him in return.

  He reached for the door, only to freeze as she reached up with a brush and began to straighten his tousled hair. “You had bed head,” she offered as he glared at her. “It’s not a good impression to make when you are talking to your employees.”

  “Theo is my second in command and my friend.”

  “All the more reason to try to look respectable.”

  “Woman, the man has seen me naked before.” Declan’s hands slammed on his hips as he glared down at Gillian. “And you need to put some clothes on.”

  “I’m covered.” She pointed to the long, fleece robe she wore. Only her cute little wiggling toes were peeking out. But for some reason, she still seemed underdressed to him.

  “Maybe some thick socks —”

  The pounding at the door turned his attention but only for a moment. He looked back toward his woman but she had already darted around him and swung the door open. Then she settled herself just a little behind him at his side as the man standing there stepped in.

  Theo’s black eyes widened in surprise as he stared at his boss. “Um…”

  “Gillian, Theo. Theo,” he introduced, his voice more sarcastic than he wanted it to sound. “The reason for my forced confinement.”

  Gillian glared at him for a moment, then turned a beautiful smile to his friend.

  “Welcome, Theodore. Please come inside.”

  She stepped back and waved him in, like she was a queen allowing an honored peasant into her presence, elbowing Declan out of the way all the while.

  “Charmed?” Theo looked a little confused, but then a smug grin crossed his lips.

  “What’s going on?” Declan snapped, slamming the door, but not before noticing that a great many of his enforcers were making themselves scarce in the woods that surrounded Gillian’s home.

  “Well, they wanted to know why you suddenly have become, and I quote, ‘a weak bear unable to see to your own affairs, hiding behind your servants.’ I took offense to the weak and servants part. I am no one’s servant.” He sneered, baring teeth that remained sharp even in his human guise. “But I am like them in wondering what happened to you. They probably had us followed, and I felt no need to hide where I was going.” He paused and looked Declan up and down. “You don’t look sick to me, boss.”

  “Long story,” Declan grumbled, running his hands through his hair, glaring at Gillian as she lifted her brush again. She gave him a sheepish look and dropped her brush-wielding hand. “They really called me a weak bear? I mean, really? I kicked the butts of no less than seven of his best warriors to even get a meeting with that bastard, Davis. Why are Brown Bears such asses?” He wondered if he would have been better off murdering them all and just taking over the territory. It was what his father would have done. It was what his brethren in Russia would have done. It would have been so much easier.

  “I think it’s fear, Boss.” Theo’s voice pulled him away from his dark thoughts. “They are stuck between us and the Grizzlies. And though we want nothing more than to move onto our piece of land and let life go on, they are too political in their thinking here.”

  “And I thought we left all the politics back in Russia,” Declan grumbled.

  “Well, they are all too eager to go to war with the weak bear now.”

  “Weak bear?” Declan snorted. “I showed them how weak I was on my own the last time. And yet they still persist in this weak thing.” Declan threw his hands up in frustration. “I hate politics.”

  “Well,” Gillian interrupted, shaking her head slightly. “It is politics. Politics,” she recited, amusement sparking in her brown eyes. “Poly, the Latin for many and ticks meaning blood-sucking parasites. I can see why you hate it. But you would be a bit more comfortable discussing this in the kitchen. I’ll make coffee.”

  That said, she tried one more time to go up on her toes to adjust his hair and for some strange reason that amused Declan more than anything had in the past few years. Chuckling, he snatched her brush out of her hand and leered at her.

  “So,” Theo added quietly, “this health thing is not about being too screwed out to shift? There are stories about that happening —”

  His words were abruptly cut off as Declan slammed the purloined brush into Theo’s chest before turning to follow Gillian.

  Laughing, Theodore followed, looking more charmed than upset.

  “Respect the lady,” Declan snipped as he moved into a well-appointed kitchen. It was his first time being in this room, and he liked what he saw. It was all stainless steel and black lacquer with hints of red and white to add color.

  Gillian was standing by a spaced-out machine that looked like it would be at home in some NASA lab, pouring in coffee beans.

  “It won’t take but a moment,” she informed them, before nodding toward the table where three cups sat prepared. “It grinds and brews.”

  Declan relaxed and took a seat, his back to Gillian and facing the door in a protective fashion. No one would be able to enter without him knowing about it.

  “Nice place,” Theo said. His black eyes took in everything before he took a seat across from Declan. “Lots of land.”

  “Thank you.” Gillian smiled at him from across the room, and for an instant, Declan wanted to bash in his face, but only for a moment. Theo took a discreet sniff and a smile lit up his face. His gaze flittered between her and him, and he smiled knowingly. “It’s been in my family for ages. It belonged to my many-times-great-grandmother.” She nodded to the brush. “That was hers too.”

  “So,” Theo began, placing the brush on the table beside him. “I would die for you, Declan. I would lay down my life for you and for your beliefs. I have traveled all the way to the West with you when you asked and broke away from tradition and the beliefs that have held our clan sacred and safe for generations. And now I need to know one thing. You have always had our best in mind when you acted for us as leader, but why the hell can’t you make this simple meeting?” His eyes were not accusing, but they were direct and demanded answers. “The Brown Bears already think we are violent and uncivilized, which is why they are doing their best to contest this move. But it would only take one conversation wit
h you for them to know that you mean no harm.”

  Shaking his head and knowing there was no other way but to show him, Declan stood up dropped his pants. Naked, he stood back from the table, and with one final glare at Gillian, he shifted.

  There was a bang, and Declan looked down from his bear’s height to see his second lying on the kitchen floor. He shifted back and raced to his side, only to see the brown-haired man rolling on the floor in laughter.

  “Who —?” he choked out, tears running down his face as he curled up into a fetal ball. “What — Oh, Uris, De —” Then he dissolved into laughter again, damn near choking on it.

  “Har-de-har-har,” Declan grumbled, standing up and reaching for his pants.

  “You have — oh, Great Uris — puff balls around your paws!”

  “Theo!” Declan snapped, embarrassment making his voice sharper than he intended.

  “Your bare ass is ashy gray! You need lotion, Boss!” He gagged, he was laughing so hard. “And the puff balls!”

  “Laugh it up, Teddy Bear.” And Theo laughed harder. “You wanted to know why I couldn’t go to the meeting in true form, now you know. Can you imagine their reaction to that?”

  Theo was starting to pull himself together. Gillian’s baleful stare and his own agitated glare probably helped. After a few moments, Theo dragged himself back onto his chair, clutching his stomach as if something had broken from his laughing jag.

  “I — I, uh — I think I understand,” he snorted, laying his head on the table, shudders still shaking his body.

  “It’s not funny,” Declan snapped, pulling on his pants and taking his seat, staring down at the table, a blush highlighting his cheekbones.

  “Who did that?” Theo finally calmed himself enough to ask clearly.

  “She did it,” he grumbled, pointing to a guilty-looking Gillian. “Why I haven’t murdered her yet, I still don’t know.”

  “Hey!” Gillian snapped, ready to defend herself, but turning to her coffee pot when it began to gurgle. The rich, heady scent of fresh, dark roasted coffee filled the air. Within seconds she made her way over to the table to pour, smirking as she placed Declan’s cup as far away from him as possible.

  He noticed Theo taking another sniff and was about to comment about it when Theo opened his mouth and rocked his world.

  “Of course you can’t kill her. She’s your mate.”

  “Mate?” Gillian’s voice squeaked as she stared at the two men sitting at her table.

  There was her half naked Declan looking tempting, tasty, and itchy while the very attractive Theodore, Teddy Bear, looked between the two of them, a smile highlighting his attractive features.

  Yes, both men were tall and muscular, bears in every sense of the kinky meaning of the word. Yet there was something extra about Declan. He just seemed… more. He radiated power, even when he was in his shaved bear form. But what he was saying now…

  “Mate?” Declan was looking confused but accepting of his word. “Really?”

  “You can’t tell?” The brown-haired man seemed surprised.

  “No,” Declan turned to stare at her, awe in his face. “Mate?”

  “Hey!” she began to protest, but Theo grinned and rose to his feet.

  “Congratulations, Boss. Can’t you smell her?”

  “I am not a bear.”

  At her words, Theo swiveled to face her, shock in every line of his body. “You don’t know?”

  “Generations of hairdressers.” She walked over to replace her pot in the coffee maker, before walking back between the two men. “But no bears. I think I would know.”

  “Then why are you carrying around the Great Grizzly crest?”

  “The what?” She felt confused, and it was a feeling that she hated.

  “Is that what that symbol is?” Declan gasped, his eyes widening. “I was trying to figure out where I saw it before when you called. It’s Grizzly?”

  “Great Grizzly,” Theo corrected. “I am your Keeper of Heritage, Boss. That is the Great Grizzly clan marking, and she smells of grizzly bear.”

  “I smell of what?” Gillian blushed a little, thinking about these guys sniffing her. She looked between the both of them and slid back as she realized what they were sniffing. “Stop that!” she snapped.

  “She just smells right.” Declan threw up his arms. “She smells good and right and — Great Grizzly?”

  Theo picked up the brush and pointed to the odd triangle shape at the bottom of the brush. It was a bit faded after years of handling, but there was enough of the engraving left to make out the straight lines. “This was the mark of the last clan. As it was told in certain circles, a daughter of the Great Clan fell in with a human. And despite her family’s disapproval of the match, she mated with him anyway. Her father, intent on keeping the bloodlines clean, made plans to murder her mate and foist her off on a cousin or close family friend. The who is neither clear nor important because the daughter took her human and ran. She ran to a place where she thought no one could ever find her, the American West. It is said that her mate became a blacksmith, an important job back then, but a job that allowed them to travel freely. It is said that the family nearly caught up with them a few times, but she was able to run the searchers off. Soon, she disappeared so thoroughly, everyone assumed that she was killed or moved on to an untraceable area. So that branch of the family died off.”

  “My many times removed grandmother,” Gillian breathed, her eyes wide as she listened to this story. “Are you sure?”

  “If this is her brush —”

  “It is.” She nodded, eyes wide in awe. “It’s been in my family… Grizzly?”

  “I did find her in a bear bar,” Declan chuckled and she turned to glare at him.

  “So what if the women in my family have an inherited hair fetish,” she began, then paused, tilting her head to the side. “Well, that would explain this hair thing a little.”

  “So, not only has your new mate denuded you of essential fur, she is a Great Grizzly. You know how to pick them, boss.”

  And Declan let his head thump to the table, rattling cups of coffee that no one had managed to drink.

  “I still haven’t agreed to this mate thing,” Gillian pointed out. “No matter who is in my ancestry.”

  “Not like you have much of a choice,” Theo pointed out. “Even if you choose not to stay, Declan will always look at you as his. And bears, polar bears, Great Polar Bears are very territorial.”

  “Great. You have been bandying that word about all day. What do you mean by Great?” She was growing frustrated with all of this. She only wanted to get fucked! Now there was a war brewing, there were bear bears in her house, and she was coming to terms with the fact that she was part bear herself. Well, she thought, wrinkling up her nose, that would explain her cousin Velma who was forced to get laser hair removal or risk being captured for a sideshow as the great dog-girl —

  “Great —” Declan’s deep voice broke into her line of thought, thankfully. “— means that your clan can be considered royalty, the source strain of all the shifter blood on the planet.”

  “The source…” Her eyes widened at that. “I am related —”

  “To every Grizzly shifter that ever was.” Declan sighed. “Factions break off from the main branch, but none are as powerful as the members of the Great Bear shifter clans.”

  “But — but I can’t shift!” She was growing angry and nervous all over again. These people were coming into her home and trying to change her way of life and her view of herself. It was unnerving, to say the least.

  “Doesn’t matter,” Declan pointed out. “Blood of the Great Clan, direct blood of a Great Clan, affords you a lot of power, Gillian.”

  “I don’t want power,” she snapped, rising to her feet. “And you never said anything about being part of a Great Clan. Theo said you were a Great Polar!” she accused.

  “I didn’t think it mattered.” He sat back and stared at her, his green eyes glinting like jew
els. “And now I know why I can’t hurt you. Anyone else would have been buried out in the woods by now.”

  “Declan! Now is not the time to joke!”

  “I am not joking,” he grumbled, smiling, showing how his sharp teeth had replaced the even white ones she was used to seeing in his pretty smile. “If you were anyone else, the penalty would be death for having the audacity to shear a bear.”

  She gulped and looked over at Theo, and found him nodding. “He is royalty, after all,” he pointed out. “And what you have done is what we used to do in the old days to brand cowards.”

  Gillian gulped and slowly stood back from the table, her eyes on Declan. She didn’t know him at all.

  “I —”

  “I am not a toy, Gillian,” Declan ground out, also rising. “I am not one of the romantic heroes that Hollywood creates or writers extol the virtues of. I am a Great Polar Bear, not a human being. I am an animal in human guise. I am dangerous, and I led what you would call a renegade branch of my clan here to get away from the fucking war that helped lead to the exposure of shifters.”

  She took a step away.

  “And now that I reflect upon a few things, like my releasing control of my shift to allow my fur to be exposed and sleeping beside you so deeply while you shaved me, like how I let you order me around, like how I haven’t hurt you for the dishonor you visited upon my person with your razor —” He paused, a rueful looking smile crossing his lips as he shook his head. “I have come to the one conclusion that fits. You are indeed my mate. I have mated with a Great Grizzly right before I am to go out and convince the Brown Bears that I am not in collusion with the Grizzlies that live here.”

  The last thing Gillian heard before she raced out of the room was Theo’s sardonic voice. “I’d say we are pretty fucked, Boss.”

  *

  Gillian needed some time to clear her head. She needed that time in the shower, the best place to do deep thinking, by her reckoning, anyway. So now she stood under the hard, beating water thinking about all that had happened to her.